Just a first-generation, feeling helpless again amid immigration raids

From a young age, I became aware of my mom’s immigration status and, by extension, my own. I still remember the constant warnings: “No digas nada, porque si no, ya no regresamos,” which translates to “Don't say anything, because if not, we won't come back” a chilling reminder that at any moment, our family could be torn apart. 

To this day, those thoughts continue to haunt me, taking me back to a time when I was just a helpless child living in constant fear. Since Donald Trump took office this year, he has lived up to his promises of mass deportations. 

Even though the Department of Homeland Security hasn’t released the number of people being detained, every day we see it unfold on mainstream and social media as our loved ones, our community members, our neighbors, our people are being taken away.

And they’re not just taking criminals. They’re taking hardworking people: street vendors, gardeners, hospitality workers, caregivers, cooks, construction workers. People who barely make ends meet, yet still find a way to feed their families, even though they don’t have the documentation to work in the United States. 

When I was in third grade, I became aware that my parents were barely making ends meet. That reality pushed my mother to become an entrepreneur, turning my siblings and me into her little employees. 

We started by selling shoes out of the back of our car in front of laundromats. Later, we began cleaning and selling shoes at a factory in El Monte. During the summer, my mother learned how to make “bolis” ice cream made from just about anything you can imagine. We would sell those on foot, holding them in a stroller. Our top customers were employees from a car wash in Montebello, which recently got raided by immigration officials.

We also sold food in a factory during my high school years and it wasn’t until my mother got tired of cooking that she decided to start selling used items at the swap meets. It’s been about 10 years since my mother has been working at the flea market and guess what! She still pays taxes like many others.

As most of us are aware, undocumented immigrants contribute $96.7 billion in taxes every year with a nine-digit code known as an Individual Taxpayer Identification Number (ITIN). But after the betrayal by the International Revenue Services (IRS), who agreed to disclose the data to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE),  coupled with the ongoing raids happening every day in our communities, I don't think we'll see that amount again.

Many people have been forced to risk their safety by going to work out of necessity, while others remain at home, living in fear of being deported. That is no way of living the so-called American Dream.

Since the immigration operations began in January, my siblings and I have taken on the financial responsibility of caring for our mother so she doesn’t have to put herself at risk of being separated from us. Some of us don’t even work full-time, but we still find a way to make it work. As first-generation children, it’s our duty to help our parents when they have given us so much. 

These immigration raids are taking a serious toll on my mother’s mental health, and once again, I feel helpless. She’s being made to feel like she’s hiding, like a criminal, when all she’s ever known is how to be a devoted mother and a hardworking woman, all at the same time.

For years, undocumented individuals have been waiting for immigration reform. Many have lived in the United States for over 20 years, yet they are still unable to properly fix their status. The last comprehensive immigration reform in the U.S. was the Immigration Reform and Control Act of 1986 (IRCA). It was signed into law by President Ronald Reagan in November 1986. That's almost over 39 years ago.

Today, it’s not just undocumented individuals with criminal records being taken away, it's also hardworking people, and even U.S. citizens who are standing up for our community. This raises serious and deeply troubling questions about justice, discrimination and who is truly being targeted.

This system has failed those who came chasing the American Dream, offering not opportunity, but fear and a life filled with uncertainty.