Column: As a Latina, I prioritize my mental battle with body dysmorphia with self-care

As a Latina, mental health issues are already a serious problem for many, but I hope to break the stigma in our community and keep spreading awareness about body image issues.

Many of you might know me as a daughter, a sister, a partner, a journalist, and even as a mother, but at the end of the day, I’m just me, simply Amairani Hernandez. From a very young age, I battled with body dysmorphic disorder. Even though I was never on the heavier side, my brain is wired to believe that I am.

Growing up with body dysmorphia was really tough for me. I hated going to family parties because I knew I would never be satisfied with what I decided to wear. I never expressed this issue with my parents; they always thought I was just being a rebellious child when, in reality, it was my brain telling me I looked different from the way I perceived myself. Picking outfits for school was always a challenge for me.

There are days when I feel good about myself; there are days when I don't care and there are days when I struggle mentally. In society and the media, the thin ideal image remains a focus and skewed perception that only thinness equals beauty. According to one large study in the United States, 45.5% of Latinos and 56.1% of Latinas experience body shape concerns.

In addition to the same societal pressures regarding Western beauty standards, Latinas often face other challenges, including acculturation and acculturative stress, discrimination, grievance if they have immigrated from their country of origin, migration journey, and lack of resources and support, all while dealing with mental health and body image problems. 

As a first-generation Mexican and an older sibling, body image isn’t the only thing I battle with; I also struggle to this day with anxiety and depression. Also, just recently I was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), which is a common neurodevelopmental condition that is characterized by a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that can interfere with daily activities and relationships. 

About two months ago, I was really going through it mentally. I found out some family news, like the ones that change your life upside down. If you know me, then you probably know I’m very indecisive, but when it came to this news, I couldn’t let this get to me, and I really had to take ownership of the situation because I was having anxiety, stress and depression. In other words, this situation was eating me alive and I could not handle the feeling. I started to eat more than usual and started to use food as a coping mechanism.

It wasn’t until I finally hit my heaviest weight that I decided to take care of my health and my mental health. I was really surprised that I had let myself go and that my weight was more than when I was pregnant. I decided to reach out to my doctor to check if my health was fine and thankfully I was. 

I've been going to the gym since I got the news that changed my life, and I know one day I'll get to open up about it. But today I’m happy to share that I have officially lost 21 pounds and it hasn’t been an easy journey. Every day I wake up and challenge myself to eat better, feel better and be better for myself and for my family. I’m also very grateful to have a great support system.

Ever since I started my fitness and health journey, my mental health has improved and so has my body image disorder. For all my fellow Latinas who struggle with body dysmorphia, I know it’s not easy. I see you and I understand you and no matter how you perceive yourself, you are beautiful no matter the size.

If you ever need someone to hear you out, I’m always here to support you and lend a helping hand.