Mami & Me: Moving your toddler to his bedroom, here are some tips that may help the process

For the past three years, my toddler has been sleeping in our room. But about a month ago, when he was officially evicted into his own room, the transition was easy … until it backfired into sleepless nights.

Since I gave birth to my son, he has moved from a bassinet to a toddler bed, and eventually into his own full-size mattress right next to ours, which took most of our bedroom space. Being in a crowded room is nothing new for me, especially since I grew up in a low-income Mexican household where my whole family slept in one bedroom together for the majority of my life.

Now that I’m a mother, I totally understand my parents not wanting us to sleep in their bed. Not only is it uncomfortable but it is probably the only time they had to recharge and fuel from having to deal with us.

My toddler, Levi, had been on track with his nighttime routines and not waking up in the middle of the night, which meant he was more than ready to make his play room into his bedroom. When he saw me move his mattress into the other room he started asking all these questions, as he is in his “why” phase. “What are you doing?” “Why are you moving my bed?”.

I had to explain to him that he was ready to be a big boy and sleep in his own room. At first he was hesitant and he didn't want to, but once he saw me decorate and put the whole room together, he became very excited about the transition and started helping out. 

The first week that he slept in his room, he did really well. I’m not gonna lie, I was shockingly surprised. By the second week we had some regression. He no longer wanted to sleep in his bedroom and that was probably because I let him sleep in my bed for one night. Even after forcing him to sleep in his bed, I was waking up several times at night as he would call for me to go sleep with him. I started to ask myself, was this a mistake? Was he not ready? Should I put his mattress back in our room?

This kept happening over and over for at least two weeks until I couldn’t take it anymore. One night I walked over to his room and told him that he was a big boy and that he was ready to sleep by himself. I explained to my son that I was just on the other side of his room sleeping like him. I continued to tuck him in and encourage him to have a good night's sleep. Somehow, someway, that explanation miraculously worked because, ever since that conversation, I’ve had the best sleep since becoming a mom.

Although having a serious conversation with your toddler will definitely help, I would also suggest the following tips:

Using familiar items in their new bedroom

It can be very exciting to decorate the new room for your toddler, but since it is a big transition, making big changes to the room can be intimidating for them. I would suggest keeping familiar items that they want. For my son, Levi, his bedroom was once his play room, so he already had toys and plushies that he liked. Some of the new changes included adding Super Mario blankets and pictures of mom and dad. We also added curtains so that the room can stay pitch black and he doesn't wake up too early when the sun is out.

He also has drawers with clothes and others with underwear, socks and nighttime pull ups. As he is becoming more independent, I am providing him the resources and tools that he needs to make his independence easier.

Let them become familiar with their new environment

As I explained before, it's probably going to take a couple of failed attempts until your little one is fully ready to transition. I would suggest buying a night light to make them feel safer at night. You can purchase the night light at your nearest Dollar Tree. Once I put that little blue dinosaur light in my son's room I was able to see a difference. He has been able to fall asleep all on his own without my cuddles. 

Keep the nighttime schedule and routine 

New room—same routine! I always say and truly believe that staying consistent with routines is key for children. Not only will it help with leaving the bottle, learning how to potty train, or creating a sleep schedule, but it also works by facilitating big transitions.

As a mom who loves her sleep and some me time, creating a sleeping schedule early on with your toddler is probably the best and healthiest system you can implement. As soon as it gets dark, my son is already telling me it's nighttime. If you ask me, this just makes my life easier as a mom.

As I encourage my son to become more independent, I also experience some bittersweet emotions behind those proud moments. In my eyes, my son, Levi, will always be my baby. He gives me the chance to grow into a better person and a better mom through both the challenging and beautiful moments of motherhood.

If there is anything I can help young mothers and fathers with, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me at amairani@latinomedia.org. Follow my Mami & Me column here.