Opinion: Shakira, your kids are also hurt by the patriarchy

This past Monday, an interview with Shakira was shared through different media outlets and social media where she was asked her opinion of the "Barbie" movie.

She basically said that her children did not like the film and that she did not like it very much either because it "emasculates" men and that each gender has its role as protector and provider for men and that as women we also have our place, that we must be feminine.

I think, dear Shakira, that you need to understand feminism a little better to be able to understand what the film was trying to convey. For that reason I decided to write you this note.

Dear Shakira,

I am writing to you in Spanish (I am also translating into English) hoping that you understand a little better that the “Barbie” movie does not deprive your children or any man of their identity or their role as “protector and provider” in society.

In fact, Ken's character has a transformation within the story in the film because at first he only defines himself from the relationship he has with Barbie. He does not feel valued or identified as his own being separate from Barbie. In other words, he's nobody without Barbie.

But Barbie helps him understand that he also has an identity separate from her, that he too can be “just Ken” without Barbie. He has an identity of his own.

It's sad that when you saw the movie neither you nor your children could understand that. The truth is that there are many valid criticisms regarding the movie. For example, it presents a very basic form of feminism, or that it only presents the oppression of white women. Even though there are several diverse Barbies of color, the film focuses on the classic Barbie and her struggle to find her own identity.

But for those who are not exposed to books on feminism or who have not majored in gender studies in college, the film portrays for the rest of us a basic understanding of feminism, especially for the new generations who are just discovering society, like your children, Shakira.

Although they may be a little young to understand some of the idiosyncrasies of the film, it would be good if you started reading a little more about the ways in which patriarchy has harmed boys and men, assigning them the role of being providers and protectors without giving them the opportunity to express their feelings or without letting them cry, because that would mean they are behaving like “girls.”

I wonder, Shakira, if that's what you do? Do you let your children cry and teach them that being sad is normal or do you immediately tell them that they should stop crying because boys don’t cry?

The role of being a protector and provider only exists if you have a partner, but if you don't have a partner, do men have no role in society?

And if we are not feminine enough, are we not women enough?

Shakira, I don't know if the decision to put your career aside was for your ex-partner or your children or for whatever reason, was yours and yours alone. The fact is that as a woman you should know that this is your right, to decide whether to leave your career or not, to decide whether to have children or not, to decide whether to have a partner or not. Your children also have the right to decide all that, but as women we have always been assigned the role of raising and nurturing children and sacrificing everything for them. But the truth is that it is everyone's choice or it should be.

The fact is that both men and women all have the right to choose their role in society. Please do not limit your children with the idea that they are only protectors and providers. They can also be much more than that.